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GhastlyH
I'm an internet has-been. I play accordion and draw lots and lots of dick-girls.

Age 58

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Hamilton, Ontario

Joined on 12/7/18

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GhastlyH's News

Posted by GhastlyH - April 8th, 2023


So for the past year and a bit I've allowed my World of Warcraft subscription slide and I've been playing the game as a Free-to-play toon exploring the culture of both the Moon Guard RP server and the Twinking community. As well I've been making silly videos about my adventures in the game.



As well I've been writing songs about the adventures.



The entire Pookamhura Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdb8vKrV3azzvVWQx55SETEaeMQ5U_zmg


The Pook's Songbook Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdb8vKrV3azwTJJKIn6S9OVjlcptvbWrH


So that's why I haven't been doing much drawing.



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Posted by GhastlyH - April 7th, 2023


So I haven't done much drawing the last couple of years but I have been having fun making silly videos about the adventures of my Free-to-Play world of Warcraft toon, Pookamhura. She's a production assistant for a goblin media network as well as a freelancer for the Alliance militia (Moon Guard Server).


The entire Pookamhura Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdb8vKrV3azzvVWQx55SETEaeMQ5U_zmg


The Pook's Songbook Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdb8vKrV3azwTJJKIn6S9OVjlcptvbWrH


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Posted by GhastlyH - May 7th, 2021


So a new idea for a Star Trek series that will make nobody happy. The story takes place on Earth in the POST TNG future. A bunch of Federation citizens from different walks of life get together to LARP in a holodeck. None of them ever served in Star Fleet because honestly the real Star Fleet is kinda dull as the Federation's technology and training means there's usually a simple tech fix for any problem a Starship encounters and so life in Star Fleet is seen as kinda dull and bureaucratic government job.


So these guys get together to LARP being in Star Fleet and the campaigns they play are all the klunker episodes of every incarnation of Star Trek thus destroying all concept of continuity and canon in the Star Trek multiverse. So an episode would have these guys meet up at the local holodeck on the weekend and one of them will have brought a campaign with him and then they fight during the campaign over whether this one is the worst one yet.


"Computer freeze program. What the hell!? A spider? The guy has turned into a spider because the doctor messed up treating his cold? Who the hell wrote this holoRPG?"


"That's Barclay he's the guy who wrote this holoRPG. His holoRPGs are always weird and kinda creepy. But it says it's based on a true event."


"What!? What true event? In what universe could something this stupid happen?"


"Well obviously he's playing fast and loose with the science just to move the story along. I mean let's face it when was the last time anybody made a weapon of mass destruction that could fail. We live in a post scarcity society. Every piece of technology that is dangerous to life would have enough redundancies built into it to make failure unthinkable. But you were okay with a photon torpedo malfunctioning at the beginning of the campaign."


"Yeah but turning into a spider because the doctor fucked up treating your cold? C'mon none of this shit makes sense."


"Oh really. None of this makes sense? And what was the last RPG you brought. That one set in the past where we had to go rescue, what was it? The Brain of Ambassador Spock?"


"Okay look, I'll admit that Spock's Brain was a bit of a let down."


"You only bought it because there was a hot woman on the cover and you have a hard on over retro styles."


"Look they can't all be Balance of Terror, but he's turned into a spider because his cold medicine was wrong. This is way stupider than the Spock's Brain RPG. Spider Mary Sue is just breaking my immersion."


"Barclay is not a Mary Sue."


"He literally wrote himself into his own RPG."


"Yeah but he's... a spider..... Look have you actually read the report logs of what happened in that incident? They fired a torpedo, the primary and secondary safety systems failed. But the other 20 redundancy systems built into every weapons system because we have the technology and economy to let us build systems with a ridiculous amount of safety systems in everything we make, worked fine and there was no incident. Lt. Barclay had a minor health issue that was treated competently in sick bay, but WHAT IF!!!! WHAT IF the redundancy systems ALL failed on that training mission? WHAT IF the medical care he received was sloppy? That's what we're playing a WHAT IF, because the reality of Starfleet is we live in a time where artificial intelligence means every problem can be quickly solved by our technology, where every human that is involved in the mission has been so well trained and selected for the mission that the combination of AI and human problem solving skills means every problem we run into gets solved, quickly, efficiently and competently solved."


"So because Lt. Barclay couldn't find a way to make his day seem more exciting than it really was we have to play through an RPG where he turns into a spider and the ships counsellor turns into a... what did she turn into, a newt? A fucking newt? That's literally a worn out joke from the 20th century comedy troupe Monty Python."


"Woah! People have been ripping off Monty Python for RPGs ever since RPGs were invented. Monty Python is fundamental to the RPG experience."


"Yeah well, I'm just wanting something a little less... silly. Would it be too much to ask for an RPG that has at least a thread of connection to the possible instead of just a random fuck fest of realism and silliness? I just want to feel like this is something that could have happened for real I'd just like a little internal consistency, not just a "Ensign Mary Sue has an adventure for some stupid reason when any person who is as smart as Ensign Mary Sue is portrayed as being would have seen the obvious solution to the problem and not the convoluted solution to the problem that the RPG writer has us jumping through just so they can tell a story about MARY FUCKING SUE TURNING INTO A FUCKING SPIDER!"


Meanwhile the character who is an alien race we've never seen before in any incarnation of Star Trek says "Why is there nobody of my species in any of these RPGs?"


"Oh for Christ's sake's Jeff, we've been over this. We only contacted your species 6 months ago. We didn't even know you existed when this RPG was written."


"Look I'm just saying I'm getting a little sick of playing Klingons just because my species looks slightly like Kingons."


"Then play with a different holoskin. I'm not a Vulcan but I RPed a Vulcan in our last campaign."


"Oh like putting on pointed ears and acting like a self righteous asshole is such a stretch for humans. My people's culture is nothing like Klingon culture even if we look kinda, vaguely similar. I'd just like a character I can relate to a little more."


"Well then pick one of the more than eighty thousand alien races we had contact with when this RPG was written that best fits the character you want to be."


"Look, I'm just saying, both our species technological and social tech is so advanced that six months after meeting each other I'm living on the core world of a completely different species and culture and integrating so well that I'm meeting weekly to play pretend with a group of aliens I didn't even know existed less than a year ago, is it really so much of a stretch to imagine one member of my species met you guys 20 years ago?"


"Really, Jeff? Really? You really think given both our civilization's tech that either one of us could have had a first contact 20 years ago yet it would lead to no meaningful contact between our species until just six months ago? C'mon Jeff! C'mon!!!"


"Oh I see, you're okay with Ensign Mary Sue turning into a spider but you just can't accept that a Grezorpunakin had contact with the Federation 20 years before our real first contact."


"For fuck's sake Jeff! I'm not okay with Ensign Mary Sue turning into a spider. The whole reason I paused the simulation was because I was not okay with that. If you want to play a Grezorpunakin, which I gotta be honest sounds like a name for a species made by pulling random scrabble tiles out of a bag, like if you gave some pulp fiction writers from Earth's 1930s a task of coming up with an alien species name and then have a character of that species have the dullest of human names, well hey you do you JEFF."


"Woah! Woah! Woah! ROBERT! I'll have you know in my language Jeff is a name that's almost sacred in its beauty and meaning. While Robert sounds like the noise we make after a really good meal."


"Yeah well you're on Earth now Jeff. And on Earth Jeff is such a dull assed name that some people named it will add "Ery" to the end of it just to spice it up."


Meanwhile the guy whose turn it was to pick the holoRPG for that week is begging them "Guys! Guys! Please! Can we just get through this game without it going off the rails into a big fight over what is stupid and what is not? C'mon guys. Just throw yourself into it. We gotta find a way to turn the crew back into non animal version of themselves before Picard becomes a lemur and gets eaten by that Worf guy. Can we just focus on that for now."


"Fine! Let's get this done, but next week it's my turn to bring the holoRPG and I'm fucking rolling a Grezorpunakin for once and first contact be damned."


"Okay, Jeff, fine. Just make sure it's a good one."


"Oh it's a good one alright. "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier". I hear we get to kick god in the crotch in this one."


"God dammit, Jeff."


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Posted by GhastlyH - February 26th, 2021


So I phoned Hollywood today with a movie idea.


This scientist in the future invents time travel and uses it to prevent Joseph Dombey getting kidnapped by pirates so the Americans will adopt the metric system, which he does basically on a drunken dare. But the movie isn't about him.


The USA adopting the metric system so early in its history has a butterfly effect of scientific literacy and invention that the USA in the early 1900s of this altered timeline is not too different from the world of the 21st century in our timeline. The movie is about all the literary giants of the early 20th century living in a world where the events of their times still unfold along the same lines but with technology and social media similar to ours. And they're all just bloggers trying to get someone to read their stuff. And they each have a podcast too.


So I'm on the phone just excited as can be pitching my movie idea and you're never going to guess what happened next. It turns out you can't just call up random people in Hollywood when it's three in the morning and babble a movie pitch at them. Also I have been informed that I am a puta.


Oh and the drunken dare was when he was celebrating with his lab partners one of them bet him that he couldn't save the Mars Climate Orbiter from crashing because of a whole number of reasons that would transpire to prevent a temporal paradox, and the time traveller insists you can alter the past, paradoxes be damned, the key is to go back far enough that you make a very small change to history that will send ripples through time that will result in your edits to history being preserved.


And his friend is "You're off your knob, Bud. You're talking out your arse. It doesn't matter how far back you go you're always going to be prevented from changing history otherwise you have a temporal paradox"


And then the time traveller guy is all "You don't know, bitch! You've never time travelled. Paradox schmaradox! I'll do it. It's easy man. I just need a boat."


And the other guy is like "Ppppht! You're going to end up locked up in a loony bin shot full of sedatives because you were arrested trespassing on NASA babbling about being from the future with a warning about the Mars Climate Orbiter."


And the time traveller guy will be all smug and go "No... no... I can do it. All I need is... a boat."


And then it cuts right to Ernest Hemingway posting on 4chan asking if anyone else's dick chubs up a bit when they punch a guy.


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Posted by GhastlyH - September 16th, 2020


The Accordiona Board Of Tourism Presents: SE01 EP03

"Gremblin's Story Tyme" by Gremblin.


Gremblin tells you a story to help you sleep. It is important that you sleep.


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Posted by GhastlyH - August 28th, 2020


The Accordiona Board Of Tourism Presents:

"Tales from the Blue Weevil" by The Commodore.

The Commodore tells the story of how he saved Accordiona from JimmyZilla's irritable bowels.



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Posted by GhastlyH - August 21st, 2020


The Accordiona Board Of Tourism Presents: (SE01 EP01)

"Say Hello to Accordiona" by Shtan.

Shtan, a civilized bear, makes a short film for the Accordiona Board of Tourism.

DA-2618-0097-9243



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Posted by GhastlyH - August 16th, 2020



So one of the first things I bought when I got a Switch was Korg Gadget.... ...and I hated it. I fiddled around with it a few times but literally everything it did was done better by Caustic which is free and that's because Korg Gadget on the Switch doesn't have MIDI controller support. But then they did an update so it supported playing the instruments live via a QWERTY usb keyboard and even though it's not the ideal method of control for live playing it works good enough that it's now a very nice piece of software and I actually love it more than Caustic now.


So this way my first experiment with playing Gadget live.


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Posted by GhastlyH - August 11th, 2020


I love Gaston because he seems like a sad middle aged dad who lost everything in a bad divorce.


iu_154203_7168876.jpg


Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Your wife, yes she no longer loves you, Gaston

You poor lonely miserable grump


There's no man in town as pitied as you

You're nobody's favorite guy

Everyone's sad just to be around you

And it's not very hard to see why


No one's broke as Gaston

A big joke as Gaston

No one's neck longs to feel a tight rope as Gaston

For there's no man who has it so badly

The kids, car and house are all gone

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

They'll say your life's shit now it's time to move on.


No one's sad like Gaston

Single dad like Gaston

No one misses the life that he had like Gaston

"As a specimen, my life is devastating"

Cry you poor guy, that Gaston


Give five hurrahs

Give twelve hip-hips

Gaston is the worst

And he's so pussy whipped


No one sighs like Gaston

Wonders why like Gaston

In the wee hours nobody cries like Gaston

For there's no one as broken and lowly

"As you see I've got woe and dispair"

And his life slips away from him slowly

"That's right

And every last cent goes to pay childcare"


No one's shit like Gaston

Crying fits like Gaston

And in life no one's down in the pits like Gaston

"I never expected us separating"

Sad lonely dad that Gaston.


"When I was a lad I'd admire her legs

And we'd kiss and make love until dawn

And now that she's left my life's just bitter dregs

And I just can't believe that she's gone."


No one weeps like Gaston

All day sleeps like Gaston

Can't afford to put gas in his Jeep like Gaston

"I use cardboard in all of my decorating"

Say it again

Who's a sad broken man

And then say it once more

Who's wife showed him the door

Who's life is just a mess?

Don't you know? Can't you guess?

All his belongings he's had to pawn.

There's just one guy in town

Who's shit life has him down

And his name's G-A-S-T

G-a-s-t e

G-a-s-t-o, oh

Gaston


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Posted by GhastlyH - August 4th, 2020


I just realized something! There's an intersection between being a celebrity has-been and being hipster famous.


Person: What's your favourite webcomic?

Hipster: Oh that would be Ghastly's Ghastly Comic, you've probably never heard of it.


So now I can stop thinking of myself as a has-been and instead start to think of myself as *Hipster Famous* !!!

Oh this is a fun edible.


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