So I had a dream the other night that I saw this picture of a fairy relaxing in teacup in a cafe like it was a hot tub and I thought it would be neat to have a bathtub that looked like a giant teacup. Then I saw an Ikea ad on Facebook for bathtubs that look like giant teacups so I got this great idea. In my dream there was a hot spring in John and my backyard so I thought it would be neat to utilize the hot spring to make a day spa in our backyard where we sell these cute pretty fairy looking bathing suits and you can just relax in a giant teacup and pretend you're a fairy.

So I went to the bank to get a loan to build a day spa that looks like the counter top of a giant cafe with all these hot spring fed teacups and even the showers you clean up in before the teacups were built to be really big and I had giant bars of soap made so you'd feel like you were a fairy even before you got to the teacups. The bank approved my loan on condition that I hire one of the bank's employees as my assistant. So I had this weird assistant guy that I never really got a good look at as he was always in the periphery of my vision. All I could really see was that he was extremely thin, kind of hunched over and held his hands like a praying mantis and had a red shirt with a black tie.

So he whispers to me "you know we can make more money if you have fairy waitresses serving tea to the people relaxing in the teacups". That made sense to me so I said let's do it and he said "I already took the initiative of securing the loans from the back to do this". And I noticed that people were drinking beverages out of cups. Then my assistant said "And we have scanners inside the teacup baths that will scan the people inside them and we can 3D print a teacup for them that'll be them sitting inside the teacup". I thought that was a good idea and once again my assistant said he already secured the loans to implement this feature. Then he said "Now some people don't like tea, they like coffee so we should have coffee mugs for them to sit in." Once again it made sense so I told him to do it and he said he'd already secured the loans for it and sure enough there were coffee mug shaped hot tubs in my giant cafe. I thought, wow this guy is really on the ball.

Then he said "but some people like hot chocolate". So I said well we can serve them hot chocolate then and my assistant said "I've done that one better". I noticed there was a giant menu standing up on the counter top and my assistant said to go look behind it and there were giant mug-shaped hot tubs but instead of water from the hot spring they had melted chocolate inside them. I'm like what the hell? And he said "This is for people who want to pretend to be fairies but want to relax in a cup of hot chocolate instead". And then I noticed that these cups had bleachers around them and asked what that was for and my assistant said "It's for people who will pay to get in here and watch people pretend to be fairies playing in giant mugs full of melted chocolate".

So I was all "Dude! I just want to run a cute day spa where people pretend to be fairies in giant tea cups. I don't want to run a fetish place."

This was when my assistant started laughing and yelled "Fool! You thought you could have something wholesome but I've corrupted it!" And then he burst into a shower of tiny mechanical ants who all skittered away cackling and I realized my assistant was actually the Internet and I was now millions of dollars in debt and running a very particular fetish spa. So I went to the park with John and the dogs and was trying to find a way to tell him I'd turned our backyard hot spring into a very weird day spa and I didn't know if I'd make enough money to pay the bank back.

When I woke up I chuckled because in my dream I not only accepted as matter-of-fact that I had a hot spring in my backyard but also that going into a bank asking for a loan to build a day spa where people lounge in teacups pretending to be fairies didn't result in the bank manager calling security to escort me out of the bank.