I love Gaston because he seems like a sad middle aged dad who lost everything in a bad divorce.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Your wife, yes she no longer loves you, Gaston

You poor lonely miserable grump

There's no man in town as pitied as you

You're nobody's favorite guy

Everyone's sad just to be around you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's broke as Gaston

A big joke as Gaston

No one's neck longs to feel a tight rope as Gaston

For there's no man who has it so badly

The kids, car and house are all gone

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

They'll say your life's shit now it's time to move on.

No one's sad like Gaston

Single dad like Gaston

No one misses the life that he had like Gaston

"As a specimen, my life is devastating"

Cry you poor guy, that Gaston

Give five hurrahs

Give twelve hip-hips

Gaston is the worst

And he's so pussy whipped

No one sighs like Gaston

Wonders why like Gaston

In the wee hours nobody cries like Gaston

For there's no one as broken and lowly

"As you see I've got woe and dispair"

And his life slips away from him slowly

"That's right

And every last cent goes to pay childcare"

No one's shit like Gaston

Crying fits like Gaston

And in life no one's down in the pits like Gaston

"I never expected us separating"

Sad lonely dad that Gaston.

"When I was a lad I'd admire her legs

And we'd kiss and make love until dawn

And now that she's left my life's just bitter dregs

And I just can't believe that she's gone."

No one weeps like Gaston

All day sleeps like Gaston

Can't afford to put gas in his Jeep like Gaston

"I use cardboard in all of my decorating"

Say it again

Who's a sad broken man

And then say it once more

Who's wife showed him the door

Who's life is just a mess?

Don't you know? Can't you guess?

All his belongings he's had to pawn.

There's just one guy in town

Who's shit life has him down

And his name's G-A-S-T

G-a-s-t e

G-a-s-t-o, oh

Gaston