I love Gaston because he seems like a sad middle aged dad who lost everything in a bad divorce.
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Your wife, yes she no longer loves you, Gaston
You poor lonely miserable grump
There's no man in town as pitied as you
You're nobody's favorite guy
Everyone's sad just to be around you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's broke as Gaston
A big joke as Gaston
No one's neck longs to feel a tight rope as Gaston
For there's no man who has it so badly
The kids, car and house are all gone
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
They'll say your life's shit now it's time to move on.
No one's sad like Gaston
Single dad like Gaston
No one misses the life that he had like Gaston
"As a specimen, my life is devastating"
Cry you poor guy, that Gaston
Give five hurrahs
Give twelve hip-hips
Gaston is the worst
And he's so pussy whipped
No one sighs like Gaston
Wonders why like Gaston
In the wee hours nobody cries like Gaston
For there's no one as broken and lowly
"As you see I've got woe and dispair"
And his life slips away from him slowly
And every last cent goes to pay childcare"
No one's shit like Gaston
Crying fits like Gaston
And in life no one's down in the pits like Gaston
"I never expected us separating"
Sad lonely dad that Gaston.
"When I was a lad I'd admire her legs
And we'd kiss and make love until dawn
And now that she's left my life's just bitter dregs
And I just can't believe that she's gone."
No one weeps like Gaston
All day sleeps like Gaston
Can't afford to put gas in his Jeep like Gaston
"I use cardboard in all of my decorating"
Say it again
Who's a sad broken man
And then say it once more
Who's wife showed him the door
Who's life is just a mess?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
All his belongings he's had to pawn.
There's just one guy in town
Who's shit life has him down
And his name's G-A-S-T